To J:
J, maybe this will make you understand; it helped me when I made the decision of leaving you. Without expressing details of the humiliation and the emotional abuse that you did to me, of course.
Let me remind you that you are almost 20 years old and you still play video games and play with sticks with your friends as if you were five again.
You once told me that I didn’t have so many friends, at least I don’t have a group of people that stab each other in their backs and use them to their convenience. So I honestly recommend you to not waste your time waiting and let me use E’s comment to tell you something:
Sometimes love OR having hope and patience isn’t enough; especially when it comes to being with you. I’d be 60 with gray hairs and wrinkles by the time things would be “better”.
DURING FINALS: barely called, took a long time to answer his text messages (sometimes it took him two hours) yet he played video games for hours and hung out with his friends once or twice
AFTER FINALS: He spent time with his mom and never called as if he was ashamed of me or the relationship that we had, we only texted.
MAY 20: arrived to PR at 8 and called at 3AM. He had dinner with his family and he told me that he couldn’t see me until N finished his classes on Tuesday.
May 23: only visited me because I was pissed that I had to wait so long. His excuse was that he didn’t want to see me until everything was perfect.
MAY 24: We finally went out on a date. We saw a movie and then went to Chili’s in condado.
FRIDAY, SATURDAY, AND SUNDAY: I called E because he told me to call her and she told me that sometimes love isn’t enough while he was playing with sticks with his friends. He said he was going to ignore that comment because she was his friend. He did his brother’s homework because he thought he would gain control of the car he shared with his mother and brother.
MAY 28: Saw GOT with him and went to BB and S after. He had to leave at 9PM so that his parents would give him a break so he could have the car more often.
MAY 29: Couldn’t see him today because he was doing chores and we barely talk anymore. He got robbed at night and hung up on me when his parents were around. He didn’t say goodbye and talked in a way that he usually talked with his friends and ended the call without saying goodbye as he was hiding me from his parents.
MAY 30: I have been sick all day. He didn’t call once and barely shows any interest in how I’ve been feeling and what I’ve been doing lately.
MAY 31: he fixed his car and played with sticks with his friends.
JUNE 1: I got stood up. At 5PM, he sent me a text that we were going to see a movie at 8. I waited for him until 9, dressed and with make up on. He called me after 11:30 without giving so many details about what happened to him.
JUNE 2: I left him because I couldn’t deal with this anymore. I deserve better than this; my self-esteem is lower than ever and I feel like he doesn’t care anymore. He couldn’t even say that he loved me while being close to his parents; he was either hiding that we were dating to them or he was ashamed of what we had or of me.
I'm a college girl who loves fashion, music, tattoos, and writing.
